Hey out there in cyber space Andrew Hawkes here,
lets see if today I can wrap up this story of mine.
If you have not read the first installments you can do that;
You know there is a quote that I believe holds a lot of answers and that is this "We see the world not as it is, but as we are" The reason I say this is because I was really kidding myself if I thought that moving was going to magically sort all of our issues out, and I guess deep down I knew that. There was of course more than one reason to move, and part of it was in fact to escape the negativity that was ever present where we were living. Albert Enstien said it well when he said "The significant problems we have cannot be solved at the same level of thinking with which we created them." Yet here I was thinking that all I needed to do was move. What a schmuck! No if I was going to truly sort the issues out I was going to have to change my level of thinking.
So during this time I had gotten started with a number of Home Business, and there, as I said was really plenty of opportunities to choose from. All with varying levels of investment. I was committed to (and to this day am still) ensuring that the creditors are compensated for their loss. (you see even though the debt is effectively wiped clean with a Bankruptcy you can still pay it back, its just who I am). The sad part about all of this, was that I was yet to realise that I had not yet changed the way I was. So there was now a pattern starting to emerge, and the one variable was me. We started to get behind in our bills again, only this time in Australia. So any money I did make with the home business that I was actually working at was going towards catching ourselves up once again. It was a perpetual cycle of get behind, make some money, get caught up, get behind, make some money, get caught up. It really was just like working a job... and that started to take its toll on me. I slipped into a pit of darkness, and this is where the real damage started to occur.
Funny things happen to people when things are not quite right. The little things that we have always been so good at seem a little harder, we start to doubt our own ability, we begin to be cynical and resentful. The stupid part is that you yourself (I mean the person who is doubting etc...) are the only one who sees or thinks this. Everybody else see's you as the capable person you are. You are most certainly your own worst enemy in that situation.
So we didn't have a lot of money, yet I always held on the the belief that it was just around the corner (if you know anything about NLP or personal development you will know how stupid that is, its like tomorrow never comes), however due to the fact that I held this belief I didn't go out and get myself a job like normal people would (then I have never claimed to be normal). What I did have was time. It is true that we are all given the same 24 hours in day, and it is true that a lot of people spend their time doing any number of things, what I did was I chose to invest my time. I have lost track of the times that my wife has told me that she is going to lock my office door so I come out to the lounge. (I have found that great balance now of course). So what did I invest my time in? Well I was now an online businessman so I invested my time in learning things like HTML Code and the inner workings of SEO, teaching myself how to build websites and do graphic design. I learned a truck load of information about how a computer works, I mean like the inner workings, I had no money to pay anyone to do it, if I didn't do it, then there was never going to be cash flow come in.
It is safe to say that I was changing the way in which I saw the world, it was no longer about getting ahead and making money, lets face it, making money is EASY, I had already proved that to myself and to my family. My issue came as I didn't know how to keep it. And the biggest factor to this was how I saw the world, in other words how I saw myself.
Having always been the outcast in school and never really fitting in, at the end of the day it came down to a matter of me not truly believing that I was worthy of the money,or that happiness. Thankfully the past does not dictate the future, and the fact is that I can BE DO and HAVE anything that I truly desire, no one said it would come easy.
So by now I am looking at the world in a totally different light, and it is all because I have change the way I am. You see the truth is that I never lost any of my ability, I did misplace my belief for a little while, however my skills and my (ever expanding) knowledge were always there, only when I was able to look from a place of total gratitude was I able to see it. So here today there are a few people that I would like to acknowledge for their support, this is support that came fiscally as well as emotionally.
They are, in no particular order;
Heidi Gray and Stephen Gagie, Kaz Spence, Justin and Sharyn Hawkes, John and Melanie Kaczon, John and Shannon Lavenia, Natalie Meyle, and Ted Hooper.
Your kindness and support will never be forgotten.
So many people say, and no doubt will continue too that Andrew Hawkes lied, cheated and scammed people out of money. They will say that I ran away to avoid paying anything back. You know what? I have no control over what they say, what I do have control over is my actions. Actions speak louder than words, and so long as I act with integrity towards my obligations then I am OK with that.
I know that regardless of what others think, it is always going to come down to me. They can blame me all they like, at the end of the day they are responsible for the stuff in their life. If they want to simmer and stew, good luck to them, all that will succeed in doing is expending energy without result. In the eyes of the law, I owe nothing and am free to get on with my life. Which is what I have done.
So this is me, this is Andrew Hawkes, this is the good the bad and the ugly of the last 4 years. And as I have said here in the post, the past more certainly does not dictate or equal the future. I am just like every body else, working toward and better future for myself and my family.
To Your Success
About the Author
Andrew Hawkes is an Entrepreneur that has had good times and bad, he draws on all the experiences that he has had, military and in business, to provide solid information that anyone can use and understand to improve the results in thier own life and therefore show others to imrpove thiers. He believes that anyone can make a difference in the world and that ultimately anything is possible.
