Happiness

Personal Acceptance and How it Effects Your Outcome

Posted by Andrew    Posted in BLOG, Business, Featured    Posted in August 16, 2010    |    4 Comments

Hey all Andrew Hawkes here,

trust this will all find you safe and well. I want to share with you my thoughts on acceptance and the effects I believe it has on people.

I was watching an excerpt from a conference where I well known Success Coach was speaking of Happiness, now you might be forgiven for thinking that this well known success coach was tall with big teeth... however this was a different success coach.

He spoke of celebrities that had passed while trying to find that happiness. And how ultimately they died unhappy.

I was thinking about that, and I was thinking about my life... was it where I wanted it to be? Was I truly fulfilling my life's purpose? It caused me to question was I absolutely happy? You know Buddha said; "There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way" So what was it that caused me to look deeper?

I mean I am a happy guy, I have a loving family who want nothing but my success and happiness (what ever success means) I always endeavor to find the good in any situation. I have had many great teachers over the years, and one of the most profound lessons I have had was simply to be able to laugh at myself and not provide a negative emotion when it comes to silly little mistakes I have made. This ONE teaching has saved many great hardships. You see when you add raw emotion to an event you are applying some of the hardest setting concrete in the history of mankind! So if you are beating yourself up... well enough said I think.

What does this have to do with personal acceptance? Well hang in with me and lets see. When you look at society what is it that you see? Given the forum we are in here I will provide a couple of observations (at least this are my observations.)

As a whole people look for acceptance from people; for their achievements, their actions, their results. This is only natural and it ties in with the six basic human needs. And it really could fall into a number of them. What I have found, and again this is purely my observations (and my experience within my own life) is that we tend to look for acceptance from others as it is easier to that than it is to be responsible for ourselves. It stems from a lack of confidence in our own abilities. Now this maybe something inherent that has come from generation to generation, or it maybe due to someone being picked on in schools, or in the work place. The constant taunts about never amounting to anything, that a person is useless good for nothing. Any number of reasons. It may have been totally indirect;

e.g. A child hears their parents arguing, one parent calls the other hopeless, good for nothing, looser (what ever tag you want to put in here). They hear this often, every other week this same argument takes place. One day the child does something wrong while the parent that usually does the name calling is at their wits end, and although the parent does not hurl the same abusive language at the child, they tell the child that they are just like the other parent. (Perhaps you have witnessed or even experienced this yourself?)

What just happened here? After years and years of hearing that one parent is basically a looser, they child is now told that they are just like them... Hmm... Interesting right?

OK so back to acceptance, more importantly personal acceptance. Have you ever noticed that successful people really don't give to much weight to what other people are saying, they are not necessarily swayed by public opinion? There is a reason for this. They accept themselves for who they are. They are not trying to play a part, they are not trying to please everyone. They are who they are and have a great personal acceptance.

From this you could say that all it takes to be a success is to love yourself first. Accept yourself for who you are, don't be so hard on yourself, we are after all our own worst critics. And you know what, you are probably not wrong. I mean that the end of the day, surely if you have a great personal acceptance then you are already a winner right?

I say could say that is all it takes, as if you are striving for more then it is really the first step. However it it THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE, with out getting this step straight you are going to go no where FAST, sure you may make some money... however I can almost guarantee that you lose it all and MORE.

You want success? You want wealth and happiness? Fall in love with the person looking at you in the mirror daily, accept them, and understand that that person that looks at you has all the acceptance needed for your life's journey.

No pictures today.... just good content. Please share with your friends, tweet it, share it on facebook, more importantly though, please leave me your thoughts below.

Namaste

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To Your Success

Andrew-HawkesAbout the Author

Andrew Hawkes is an Entrepreneur that has had good times and bad, he draws on all the experiences that he has had, military and in business, to provide solid information that anyone can use and understand to improve the results in thier own life and therefore show others to imrpove thiers. He believes that anyone can make a difference in the world and that ultimately anything is possible.

“Who’s the Boss?” 10 ways to start taking control (time management, goal setting, record tracking)

Posted by Andrew    Posted in General    Posted in April 4, 2010    |    No Comments

At first glance, it would seem that positive thinking and Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) have nothing to do with one another. But many of us with ADD develop negative thinking patterns because we become frustrated by our challenges and frequent feelings of being overwhelmed. This negative outlook then makes it even harder for us to manage those challenges and move forward.

Practicing positive thinking allows people with ADD to focus on our strengths and accomplishments, which increases happiness and motivation. This, in turn, allows us to spend more time making progress, and less time feeling down and stuck. The following tips provide practical suggestions that you can use to help you shift into more positive thinking patterns:

1. Take Good Care of Yourself
It’s much easier to be positive when you are eating well, exercising, and getting enough rest.

2. Remind Yourself of the Things You Are Grateful For
Stresses and challenges don’t seem quite as bad when you are constantly reminding yourself of the things that are right in life. Taking just 60 seconds a day to stop and appreciate the good things will make a huge difference.

3. Look for the Proof Instead of Making Assumptions
A fear of not being liked or accepted sometimes leads us to assume that we know what others are thinking, but our fears are usually not reality. If you have a fear that a friend or family member’s bad mood is due to something you did, or that your co-workers are secretly gossiping about you when you turn your back, speak up and ask them. Don’t waste time worrying that you did something wrong unless you have proof that there is something to worry about.

4. Refrain from Using Absolutes
Have you ever told a partner “You’re ALWAYS late!” or complained to a friend “You NEVER call me!”? Thinking and speaking in absolutes like ‘always’ and ‘never’ makes the situation seem worse than it is, and programs your brain into believing that certain people are incapable of delivering.

5. Detach From Negative Thoughts
Your thoughts can’t hold any power over you if you don’t judge them. If you notice yourself having a negative thought, detach from it, witness it, and don’t follow it.

6. Squash the “ANTs”
In his book “Change Your Brain, Change Your Life,” Dr. Daniel Amen talks about “ANTs” – Automatic Negative Thoughts. These are the bad thoughts that are usually reactionary, like “Those people are laughing, they must be talking about me,” or “The boss wants to see me? It must be bad!” When you notice these thoughts, realize that they are nothing more than ANTs and squash them!

7. Practice Lovin’, Touchin’ & Squeezin’ (Your Friends and Family)
You don’t have to be an expert to know the benefits of a good hug. Positive physical contact with friends, loved ones, and even pets, is an instant pick-me-up. One research study on this subject had a waitress touch some of her customers on the arm as she handed them their checks. She received higher tips from these customers than from the ones she didn’t touch!

8. Increase Your Social Activity
By increasing social activity, you decrease loneliness. Surround yourself with healthy, happy people, and their positive energy will affect you in a positive way!

9. Volunteer for an Organization, or Help another Person
Everyone feels good after helping. You can volunteer your time, your money, or your resources. The more positive energy you put out into the world, the more you will receive in return.

10. Use Pattern Interrupts to Combat Rumination
If you find yourself ruminating, a great way to stop it is to interrupt the pattern and force yourself to do something completely different. Rumination is like hyper-focus on something negative. It’s never productive, because it’s not rational or solution-oriented, it’s just excessive worry. Try changing your physical environment – go for a walk or sit outside. You could also call a friend, pick up a book, or turn on some music.

When it comes to the corporate world, protocol is pretty much the religion. To know the things needed to do are the basics of productivity, but interaction and having a steady mind makes up the entire thing to true productivity. There are those who seem to work well even under pressure, but they’re uncommon ones and we are human and imperfect. To get these little things like stress under our skins won’t solve our problems. Sometimes it takes a bit of courage to admit that we’re turning to be workaholics than tell ourselves that we’re not doing our best.

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